The Mystery of the Missing Student

Jan 16

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Teaching, The Reboot

File this under “Kids Do The Darndest Things.”

Many of my students are forced to be quite independent. When both parents work, they are sometimes forced to get themselves ready for school and be responsible for various other things in their lives. One of my students was put in a situation today that fit this scenario perfectly.

His mom had informed me that she had tried calling the apartment from work to make sure he was awake and getting ready, but she was not getting an answer. She asked me to let her know if he did not show up to class that morning. When it came time for his first class, he was nowhere to be found. I informed her of this and she said she’d try to figure out what was going on.

By the end of the period, he still hadn’t shown up and I tried to contact his mother again. However, she wasn’t answering her phone. This was becoming more of a mystery to me and now I was concerned that some terrible had happened. I tried calling one or two more times with no success.

About ten minutes later, he shows up in my class, head hung and a tardy slip in hand. Thankful that nothing horrible had happened, I continued with the next class.

I later found out the backstory from his mother:

She got back to her apartment and started looking for her son. First, she went to his bedroom and found it empty. Curious as to his whereabouts, she began calling his name… no answer. She started searching the rest of the apartment. Soon, she found herself in the kitchen and made a shocking discovery. There was her son, standing at the stove in his bathrobe while frying an egg. Perplexed by this unusual turn of events, she asked him what he was doing.

“Yesterday, I asked Dad and he told me I could miss school sometime.”

The boy’s father had recently been bedridden for about a week’s period of time. A couple days prior, he even came into school complaining of aches and pains too, and his mother told me they thought they might be “sympathy pains.” Now, he had seen his dad miss work for a few days and he thought it’d be great to be like his dad and miss a few days of school. Apparently in his mind, he took what his dad said as meaning that he could choose a free skip day whenever he felt like it.

Two things made me laugh: 1.) One of the other teachers commented that any of our other students that felt like pulling this probably would have slept in until 11a or noon. However, this kid was up by 9a ready to start his free day of play early. It was a beautiful day. I mean, how could he be expected to go to school on a day like today? 2.) Perhaps you just have to know him, but the thought of this kid just standing in front of the stove in his bathrobe and frying up an egg is just a hilarious visual. Seems a little bit too sophisticated for him.

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Oh What a Flight!!!

Dec 23

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Taiwan, The Reboot, vacation

It’s Christmastime, so you know what that means… another trip to some far off destination. I’ve decided to return to a destination of previous travel… someplace warm… someplace with friends. Taiwan… HERE I COME!!!

The one thing I hate about travel is, well, the traveling. I sincerely wish I could teleport to my destination. It would save me so many headaches, like frantically worrying that I’m forgetting something, fearing my passport’s 6-month expiration date (which supposedly falls on my date of return) will keep me from being able to reenter Korea, overpacking a bag intended as a carry-on and it has to be stowed below. None of these things would be a problem if I could just materialize somewhere. But beings as that technology is not readily available, I had to make the best of the situation.

I so enjoy going to the Incheon International Airport. This is not some sarcastic remark either. It’s one of the most beautiful and aesthetically pleasing experiences of my year. I have really just connected with this port of departure. It helps that they have a free Wi-Fi room available that is incredibly comfortable and convenient for those times you remember you forgot to let your co-worker know you gave his keys to someone else… you know, should he need to get into his car or apartment.

Believe it or not, I finally got to fulfill a dream of mine today. Now this is going to sound silly, but, then again, it is me. I have a ritual I perform every time I fly. During takeoff, I always hum the theme to Back to the Future to myself. I mean, I’m pretty sure we’re close to 88MPH, but just because the airplane isn’t equipped with a flux capacitor doesn’t mean I can’t feel like I’m about to go “Back in Time.” Anyway, prepared ahead of time this time and downloaded the main theme from the movie series, and as we quickly gained forward momentum, I hit play. It was everything I dreamed it would be!

For those of you disgusted by airline food on American domestic flights, you should check out the repast I had on my sky trek. I chose the seafood and rice option. Shrimp and carrot slices in an oriental sauce, served with baby carrots and greens. Slap a little Korean red pepper paste on that puppy, butter up your roll and you’re eating good! To top it all off… this was served in a real dish and eaten with actual silverware… and not that plasticware that looks like silverware! The after dinner cake and Chinese tea were also scrumptious.

There was a very nice young Korean lady sitting next to me on the plane. She and I struck up a conversation and I asked her if she had lived someplace other than Korea as I saw her reading an English newspaper. She said “no”; she was simply trying to improve her English. During the flight, I helped her figure out what the word “Forging” meant. However, I think my telling her embarrassed her. This could possibly be due to the fact that I offered the definition after I saw her type the word into her smart phone; she never actually asked for my help.

It was a fairly uneventful flight. Little did I know the biggest surprise was still awaiting me.

So having traveled a little overseas, I’ve come to learn, but not yet appreciate fully, that travel in general means rolling with the punches. However, I feel that either this is compounded or just more noticeable when in a foreign setting. The more I travel abroad, the more I realize that on The Amazing Race, it has little to do with where you sit on the plane and more to do with the immigration line in which you stand. Case in point, the young woman I sat next to on the flight disembarked at the same time as me, yet she was through customs about 20 minutes ahead of me.

Now for the real reason she beat me through the line. Did you know that a passport is pretty much useless when it’s a certain date from expiration. Now, I’m not talking about the expiration date as mine is on June 2, 2012. However, according to many countries, you are not allowed to enter when you only have 6 months remaining before expiration. I suppose you could call it a pre-expiration expiration date. I had only just heard about this rule a few weeks earlier, but apparently during the process of buying the ticket, no one, including myself, could properly do the math on the date my passport became useless to me. I thought that date will be January 2, 2012 and so did other people, including the people that checked me in at the airport. Unfortunately, the first person to notice there was a problem was the customs officer IN TAIPEI.

I went back and forth with him and with his superior for about 3 minutes before the math finally sunk in. You have to remember… I’m an ENGLISH teacher! Not only am I an English teacher, but I am also the proud owner of a 30-day landing visa I had to purchase for $173 in order to be allowed into the country of Taiwan. Stupid lame duck passport!!!

I found the bus to the High Speed Rail station. There I bought a Vanilla Cream at Starbucks to help cheer me up and hopped on the train. It made me smile when they used the word “alighting” over the PA system.

Finally got to Kaohsiung and was excited to see that Mike hadn’t left the subway station where he had been waiting for an hour and a half for my arrival. We went to the night market where we pigged out on dumpling, fried squid and fried tofu covered in cheese. To be honest, the fried tofu looked like tater tots covered in cheese, so I only had one. Big surprise!!!

Ended the night with a 10-minute back massage at a stall in the night market. It was a great relaxer after the… interesting day I’d had. At least I’m not freezing my butt off like I would be in Seoul.

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The Relevance of Fahrenheit 451

Dec 20

Posted by Brandon in Korea, PSA, Teaching, The Reboot

As I’ve never read it before, I’ve decided to see what all the fuss is about when it comes to the novel Fahrenheit 451. While I’m not actually reading it, Ray Bradbury is doing the honors of reading it to me. I find this a great change of pace from watching TV shows on the subway and bus. The nice thing is that I can stand and not have to worry about holding a book and balance ring. I mean, have you ever tried to do that on a Seoul transit bus? Seriously, driver… I want to get to my destination quickly AND alive AND with my dinner still inside me.

Anyway, enough of that, the main point of my entry today is just how relevant the book feels and I’m not even a third of the way through it. The passage that caught my attention the most was Clarisse’s explanation to Montag of the world she lives in versus the world about which her uncle tells her used to exist. Here is the passage:

He felt at ease and comfortable. “Why aren’t you in school? I see you every day wandering around.”

“Oh, they don’t miss me,” she said. “I’m anti-social, they say. I don’t mix. It’s so strange. I’m very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn’t it? Social to me means talking about things like this.” She rattled some chestnuts that had fallen off the tree in the front yard. “Or talking about how strange the world is. Being with people is nice. But I don’t think it’s social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? An hour of TV class, an hour of basketball or baseball or running, another hour of transcription history or painting pictures, and more sports, but do you know, we never ask questions, or at least most don’t; they just run the answers at you, bing, bing, bing, and us sitting there for four more hours of film-teacher. That’s not social to me at all. It’s a lot of funnels and a lot of water poured down the spout and out the bottom, and them telling us it’s wine when it’s not. They run us so ragged by the end of the day we can’t do anything but go to bed or head for a Fun Park to bully people around, break windowpanes in the Window Smasher place or wreck cars in the Car Wrecker place with the big steel ball. Or go out in the cars and race on the streets, trying to see how close you can get to lamp-posts, playing `chicken’ and ‘knock hub-caps.’ I guess I’m everything they say I am, all right. I haven’t any friends. That’s supposed to prove I’m abnormal. But everyone I know is either shouting or dancing around like wild or beating up one another. Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays?”

“You sound so very old.”

“Sometimes I’m ancient. I’m afraid of children my own age. They kill each other. Did it always used to be that way? My uncle says no. Six of my friends have been shot in the last year alone. Ten of them died in car wrecks. I’m afraid of them and they don’t like me because I’m afraid. My uncle says his grandfather remembered when children didn’t kill each other. But that was a long time ago when they had things different. They believed in responsibility, my uncle says. Do you know, I’m responsible. I was spanked when I needed it, years ago. And I do all the shopping and house-cleaning by hand. “But most of all,” she said, “I like to watch people. Sometimes I ride the subway all day and look at them and listen to them. I just want to figure out who they are and what they want and where they’re going. Sometimes I even go to the Fun Parks and ride in the jet cars when they race on the edge of town at midnight and the police don’t care as long as they’re insured. As long as everyone has ten thousand insurance everyone’s happy. Sometimes I sneak around and listen in subways. Or I listen at soda fountains, and do you know what?”

“What?”

“People don’t talk about anything.”

“Oh, they must!”

“No, not anything. They name a lot of cars or clothes or swimming-pools mostly and say how swell! But they all say the same things and nobody says anything different from anyone else. And most of the time in the cafes they have the jokeboxes on and the same jokes most of the time, or the musical wall lit and all the coloured patterns running up and down, but it’s only colour and all abstract. And at the museums, have you ever been? All abstract. That’s all there is now. My uncle says it was different once. A long time back sometimes pictures said things or even showed people.”

“Your uncle said, your uncle said. Your uncle must be a remarkable man.”

“He is. He certainly is. Well, I’ve got to be going. Goodbye, Mr. Montag.”

“Good-bye.

This rang close to home for me as it feels like I see some of this every day, not only in my classroom but also the streets of Korea (and much of that world, so not to make this seem like a Korean issue). I always see kids playing these violent physical games where the object is inflicting as much pain as possible on a person. I hear them talking and the conversations are empty.

Currently, it feels as if we are dealing with a major problem of gaming addiction. Kids stay up until all hours of the night playing games and this causes them to be exhausted during the school day. Some are having a difficult time of understanding healthy social interactions outside the game.

But not just gaming is the problem. Another passage reminded me of an interaction with my roommate the other night. I’m sitting in the living room listening to music and checking my Facebook and a song comes on that reminds him of something he thought I was watching. Next thing I know, I get a FB chat message from him… from the next room. Montag’s tale of the woman whose husband had to call her just to talk to her came to mind. Our students also fall into this trap and have trouble interacting outside the cyber world in which we all dwell.

I was reading an article the other day about a guy who knew quite a bit about the woman he was standing next to on an elevator, yet he had never met her in his entire life. Because he was friends with her brother on FB, he had seen pictures of her recent vacation, knew where she lived and other details about her life. Another guy talked about how he never called any of this friends anymore to catch up because he felt like he knew everything that was going on just because he’d seen his friend’s status updates. By drawing us closer, social networking has lured us into a net that’s pulling us apart.

Think about this in your own life. Are these ideas realistic to you? Have these stories sparked a “yeah…” revelation in your mind? Are some of you too scared to admit it’s true? Now, I’m currently preaching to myself also. I find myself spending excessive amounts of time trying to find the best combination of letters to fit in the Triple Word box on Words with Friends. I spend too much time flipping away from FB, only to come back in five minutes or less to see if someone has commented on my status/comments. I often wonder if these are the reasons I don’t hear from friends back in the States very much. They know about my life from this blog and my FB updates!

I don’t want to act like it’s any one person’s fault either. I’m just as bad about not calling all the time, and I understand the time difference is a HUGE factor in communication. At the same time, neither myself nor others have done a good job of keeping up… and Ray Bradbury saw it coming.

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When Days Become Relative

Nov 21

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Teaching, The Reboot

Here is my favorite answer on today’s homework assignment… Homework Question: If Stanley was sentenced to Camp Green Lake for 18 months, from August 1st, 1997, through January 31, 1999 – how many days would he be at Camp Green Lake? Student Answer: about 540 – 560 days. Apparently days have become less definite when it comes to real time.

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We Only Want Our Goodbyes!

Nov 19

Posted by Brandon in Korea, PSA, Teaching, The Reboot

I don’t know what goes through some parents’ minds. I’m not trying to be degrading toward any one group of people here, but this blog entry is dedicated to the parents who pull their students out of school forever without allowing them closure.

During my time here, I’ve come to realize that there is a huge revolving door when it comes to our students. Because some families are military, new orders could take them away from Korea quickly. Businesses transfer, families split, changes happen… it’s all part of this often transient life. But the thing that infuriates me the most is the parents that know they are going to be leaving and either don’t inform their kids of the impending departure or tell their kids not to say anything about it to those around them. One day they are at school; the next day they’re not.

This happens more than you would think. My first year I had a student walk up to me after our Christmas party to turn in his books and inform me that it was his last day and he would not be returning for the second semester. This left me speechless as it was the first I’d heard of it despite the fact he had known for weeks. Last year I had a student who was in class one day and the next day he took a trip to China with his mother, never to return. He never even got to say goodbye to anyone.

While there have been a few more departures I’ve experienced, this week’s took the cake for me. My 7th grade English class is the final part of my school day. As we were closing up the class, a number of the kids started crowding around one of the boys and gave him hugs and pats on the back. The boy was usually a quiet child who only talked when called upon. I just figured this was some sort of game they’d been playing and didn’t give it much thought.

Later I was tutoring another 7th grader when the boy called the student I was tutoring. It was at this time that I was informed that the boy would not be returning on Monday. I was shocked and asked when the boy knew about this and why I was only now finding out about this. He told me the boy was told by his parents not to tell the teachers, but he was allowed to tell his fellow students. Another teacher told me that she had noticed him acting awkwardly, but he wouldn’t talk about it. She had asked him if he was going to the middle school lock-in that night, and all he could answer was “no.”

This trend irks me because of the way it affects not only the student, but also their peers and teachers. As someone who has invested my life in helping this boy to learn, I’d at least like the chance to say goodbye and wish him well. I’d like some closure to the relationship. The same thought process could be applied to students who are yanked out of school without warning by their parents despite the parents’ knowledge of departure long before.

I’m not sure if what I’ve heard is correct or not, but I’ve been informed the parents believe that by not telling the student they are helping them not have to go through the emotionally taxing goodbye process. I’ve also heard that by not telling the teachers they feel they are keeping their kids from being potentially shunned by teachers who will treat their child differently because they are leaving.

Both points of view are so flawed and these parents need to be educated on how to “leave well.” This is something we spent a whole section of orientation discussing. What they don’t understand is that this mindset is actually hurting their children. By not allowing them to have closure, often times children are afraid to form healthy relationships for fear they could end at any moment without warning. I’ve seen what happens to students who get the chance to say goodbye, and while sometimes it can be difficult, it’s healthy and cathartic.

Granted, given the state of global connectivity these days, it is easier to keep in touch with those left behind. However, if you remember back to one of my earlier posts, it’s hard enough for students to make friends without the fear of losing them always looming over them.

So to you parents out there that think this behavior is helping you and your child to not have to deal with goodbyes, in reality you are only making them miss out on a part of their life that is completely natural. Goodbyes are inevitable, but closure is necessary.

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To Rake or Not to Rake…

Nov 4

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

My sixth graders are working on learning how to properly utilize compound subjects and verbs. Last night I gave them a worksheet for homework and one of the exercises was to add a compound verb to complete the sentence. A sentence example of the work goes like this: “Milton will rake the leaves or ____________.” The following response came in first as my favorite example: “… get a spankie.” Another classic sixth grader response: “not rake the leaves.”

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The Ingenuity of America

Jun 16

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, The Reboot, vacation

What profound things do I have to discuss on my first day back in the US? Is it something to do with the economic state of the country? Does it have to do with gas prices? What about the wonders of fresh air and the effect it has on my lungs? Sorry… none of the above. It’s about a newfangled little creation that surprised me this morning.

Of course, as you can probably guess, I’m talking about the new ketchup dipping tubs at Chick-Fil-A!

These things are amazing. The marketing designer that developed this idea should be noted as a genius. Sure What-A-Burger has had a similar design for years, but the difference is, at Chick-Fil-A, you can choose to dip it or squirt it.

I ordered the new (to me) Spicy Chicken Biscuit and hashbrowns and was presented with this nifty container. Words escaped me in that moment. I wished my mom had brought me one last night to go with my order of Chick-Fil-A that met me at the airport (that’s right… two Chick-Fil-A meals in a row).

Once again, this sense of wonderment may be lost on those of you who are able to get Chick-Fil-A any day of the week (except Sunday, as my friend Justin reminded me), but for those of us who are not privileged enough to be able to drive down the street to partake of the deliciousness that is my favorite fast food restaurant, this is a huge discovery. I can’t wait to use it again!

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Graduation Awkwardness

Jun 3

Posted by Brandon in Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

A funny thing happened tonight at graduation. One of the swimmers I busted for smoking was getting his picture taken with some of his other teachers. His mother turned around and saw me and exclaimed, “Oh… his coach… he needs a picture with his coach!”

Straight in the eye I looked at this student who had refused to acknowledge my existence for the past several weeks. He looked back at me with a glare that screamed, “you are the last person in the world with whom I want to have my picture taken.” We stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

“Oh, why not?” he suddenly responded.

Pleasantly surprised, I walked over and stood next to him. I congratulated him on his accomplishment of finishing school. He thanked me and the picture was snapped. He walked away without another word.

I wonder how long that picture will last before it’s deleted?

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On the Verge of Saying Goodbye to Year Two

Jun 2

Posted by Brandon in Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

Another year has ended. Once again, I’m conflicted by the feelings this brings. For one, I’m happy that I’m going to get a break. This last semester has felt like one long struggle.

The swim season was good because I had the opportunity to work with the kids. Unfortunately, after busting a grand total of four swimmers and the manager for smoking, these last few weeks have felt like hell. Despite the fact I know some of it is an attempt at good-natured ribbing, I feel like everyone (some teachers and coaches included) is blaming me for busting these students. The guilty students themselves haven’t spoken a word to me since the incident, except for the couple times I say “hi” and they respond before realizing it’s me. I’ve been given the name “Bloodhound” by one of the other coaches and the head coach even called me out in front of the entire high school during the sports banquet for busting her swimmers for smoking. Was I wrong in doing all this? No, I say! But then why couldn’t I get the support I feel I deserved, especially from the other adults?

I mean, to be honest, after the incident with the first smoker, I wanted to try to handle this huge “bust” internally. It was one of the offenders that ratted himself out to his parents by say that I “suspected him of smoking.” His parents in turn called the director and principal to question why we suspected their child. It wasn’t until later that the student finally confessed to his parents, yet I’m still treated like the bad guy for handling this the way it was supposed to be handled. There are times I really hate my job.

At the same time, this has been a great year that I didn’t want to see end. My students are responding better despite the most hated teacher moment earlier in the year. I have had some advocates among the students that stick up for me to the other students. I feel I’m starting to get a grasp on this job, but at the same time I’m still thrown for loops.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love this job and the rewards, when they come, are amazing. But I feel like the honeymoon is over. Now it’s time to get to reality.

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Imagine Someone Typing a One-Sided Transcript of Your Conversation One Day

May 31

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Teaching, The Reboot

Teaching middle schoolers is hard. Teaching middle schoolers while suffering from laryngitis… even harder. Yesterday was the first day of review week at school, which is a pretty important week as it leads up to next week’s final exams. Unfortunately, it was also the day that my body decided to play a cruel joke on me.

My allergies have been acting up for about a week now and I actually had to go home during second period last week because of a flu-like bug that left me aching but not throwing up (thankfully). But when I got to school yesterday, I couldn’t stop coughing and clearing my throat. This in turn led to my voice becoming deeper and deeper until it no longer was recognizable and I had to strain to get sound to emanate from my vocal chords. Despite being told that I sound like a 30-year smoker or a transvestite hooker, the nice thing about this is that my voice got very deep, so I think this will help with my manly image. The elementary principal doesn’t think so and wondered why that was the first thing on my manly image list. I told her Glee is at the very bottom of that list. Thankfully, the students and my fellow teachers were understanding and worked with me. One of the teachers even filled in for my seventh period while I sat at my desk grading papers in an effort to save my voice.

Today I came to school no better. When the students came into my classroom, I had posted a note on the Activboard explaining my condition and that I would be speaking as little as possible.

Giving them review sheets required me to talk less, but I still had to give answers and keep order in the classroom. So, I typed another note on the Activboard to the students stating that I would by responding to their questions and giving them instructions via the Activboard. Every time the students heard typing, their attention immediately went from the work they were doing or whatever problems they were causing to the Activboard to see what I had to say. This turned out quite hilarious. Below is the transcript of my dialogue with the sixth graders that spanned out over two periods. I hope you enjoy it as much as the eighth graders did when they read it two periods later.

Warning:  This is only one side of the conversation and some punctuation was not always used as I was typing rather feverishly. Also, names have been deleted and only an initial exists.

I do not have a voice today, so I will be speaking as little as possible. If I have to speak when I do not need to… someone will be in trouble. I will be writing instructions and important information on the Activboard and you need to follow them. Please pay attention to these things. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Today’s lunch is Chinese Bean Curd Rice, Soup, Pickled Radishes, Yogurt

If you want lunch, please raise your hand.

Please cover your mouth “L!”

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Thank you

Okay… first off… yes… “D”

Secondly, on your test… what does italics mean? Yes… underlining. So why did many of you underline the italicized book titles? If it is in italics that means it is already underlined. I didn’t count off for this, but in the future, please be aware that this is what that means. Understand? Yes “A.” Yes. Read carefully!!! Yes I will… SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Thank you.

Take out your homework and let’s check the answers.

Okay, how did everyone do? Good. Okay, now open your books to page 654 and pull out a sheet of paper and work on Ex 14 #1-20. Yes “A?” Whatevs. Do your exercise. Yes, that’s what I meant to type. Yes, it’s short for whatever!!! Yes, “F” Yes! Do it!!! It’s slang. Never mind. Do Exercise 14.

Because I had other work to do and you didn’t need to see it. I had to copy papers for the 7th and 8th graders. Everyone finished? Okay, let’s check out work. Next, let’s do Exercise 15 #1-10.

I will return in a moment. Anyone still working?

SHSHHHHHHHHHHH Okay, let’s check our answers.

No one is killing anyone… now please stop talking. Thank you.

Okay… now please do Ex 16. Look it up.

For page numbers, look at the reference note section on the side of the page. Anyone still working? “F” Pay Attention!!! “S” stop hitting “F!”

Okay, let’s check…

One more exercise… Ex 17 #1-20. Read the directions and do what they say!!! No you don’t always. EVERYONE!!! Except “E” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA No… stop whining and get to work. Get to work! Demerit “L!” Why were you throwing away trash? Then you threw a paper at the door? This no longer makes sense. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Until class is finished. Sorry no bonus no. “H”… 17 yes… there is only one Ex. 17 in this chapter.

“A”… what do the directions say…? First word.

READ THE DIRECTIONS!!!!!!!!! Wow… after you all said you always read and follow directions. Is the example the directions? NO!!! I said read the directions and look at the example. Yes it does. STOP WHINING!!! I’m going to report a detention. The author made the book. It’s in the book. First!

The bench you sit on while playing the piano. Not that you sit on the bench while everyone else plays the piano.

Finish this for homework. Pass the test back in to me.

Okay… take out your homework and pass it to me.

Encourage

Open your book to p. 692.

“A”, please read the first page.

Read the paragraph at the top of the page too.

“D” you had a question? It’s just the artist’s decision to draw him that way. Okay… has anyone figured out the mystery? “D”… answer. No… why the spoon keeps floating in the air. Yes where is there zero gravity? “H” be quiet okay… what does enrolls mean? What is a cosmonaut?  What is a formula? My hand is bigger, not more bigger. “H!!!!” You kept saying “my hand is more bigger.” “H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Okay… what is dejectedly? “F”… Nope “A!” Yes, he is unhappy and sad. Okay… “H,” please read paragraph 2.

Anyone have an answer? To the question at the end of the paragraph. Read along “D.” Yes… they had not launched the shuttle yet. Why have they not launched the shuttle yet? No there is only one answer. How do you know? Where? And how do you know it’s not time? Yes, the clock says it’s 5:55am, the launch is at 6a. No no because it hasn’t launched yet. One inch isn’t going to cause it to fall over. They refill the tank before launch. EHHHHHHH… No.

No … my cold that kept me coughing at 1:30a. I couldn’t until I took the medicine. I took it!!! At 1:30a. ???????????? I took 2 tablespoons. OH “D”…

Okay, let’s look at the vocab. What is an altimeter? Yes, a device that measures distance that it has flown into the air. Next… what is a satellite? “D” no… yes… can a planet be a satellite? Why? yes… very good. Next… what is a breakthrough? “A”… Very similar to newfangled. It is an advancement in technology.

SHHHHHHHH!!!! Stop the teasing and getting on each other’s nerves! What did “Mr. E” tell you last week? What’s the rule?

Finally, what is disregarding? “E” yes… don’t disregard what “Mr. E” said about teasing or you will get a detention. Did I say your name “D”?!? No… Okay….

Turn to the next page. Okay… “The Case of the Shining Blue Planet.” Notice that the title is in quotes… why? Yes… it is a short story. Then don’t shave it “D”. Let’s look at the genre. What is it? Short story. What is a short story? A book. Remember what we talked about with English and underlining and putting in quotes. What is the difference between a short story and a book? That is correct, but what is the difference between the two. Not how you punctuate them, what is the difference between the two? Okay… we have two books here. Which is the novel and which is the book of short stories? Why? Nope… has nothing to do with length of the book. Why? Well… that’s partially right, but a novel doesn’t have to be in a series. “H.” Why?

Nope “S” it has nothing to do with reality. Yes. I gave him permission. Nope. Why? Currency? No okay… hang on. Listen carefully because I’m going to speak.

Okay, so let’s begin reading our story. What do we need to look for in our story? “D”…Okay.

Let’s turn to the next page. Pay close attention to this story. It’s a mystery that you need to solve. “E,” please begin our reading.

What conclusion can you draw about Stanley’s character from reading the conversation about the dinosaur photograph? Okay… he does want to learn, but what else? “D”… um… no. Remember this is a mystery. Look at the clues. What has Stanley bought? What did he get and what was he expecting? “F” no… no…. okay… getting warmer. How was he told the picture of the dinosaur was taken? Yes… by a time machine. Good question. Has anyone ever made a time machine? Okay… seriously. Are dinosaurs in the future? Where are they? Has anyone ever gone to the past? So what does this tell us about Stanley and what he believes? He believes lies and is gullible. Nope… look it up tonight. Bye!!!yes!!!!!!!!!!

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