Archive for category Teaching

The Curse of the Educational Soccer Moms

Aug 25

Posted by Brandon in Korea, PSA, Teaching, The Reboot

There’s a group of moms that, honestly, I can’t condemn for wanting the best for their children. Unfortunately, their Korean mindset sometimes clashes with the educational system that we have in place at our school. Often these parents will push and push and push for more homework, more writing and more vocabulary assignments for their children. I call these parents the “Educational Soccer Moms.”

Last year, three parents of my middle children came to air their complains to the principal about how there wasn’t enough writing and vocabulary in my class. The principal discussed their concerns with me and I agreed the writing was lacking that year, but I planned to rectify that issue this year. The vocabulary, however, I told him would not change for various reasons and he agreed with me. So I compromised by offering the kids whose parents were complaining the option of doing extra vocabulary.

I sent home a letter the first week of school informing the three parents of the bonus work. About a week later, I received this email:

I’m thankful that my kid is going to ICS where Christian values are taught.  I’m so grateful to see her grow in faith.

But many parents of ICS students are worried if our kids are being properly prepare for the universities in America and not falling behind.  Korean middle school students and foreign language junior and high school students in Korea go through rigorous curriculums. Compare to other international schools in Korea and the schools in America, are our kids going through competitive curriculums?

Those of us three mothers who went to see Mr. L. (our principal) to voice our concerns didn’t intend just for our three kids to get the letter and extra vocabulary assignment each week.

We were hoping that the whole grade would work more and be upgraded.

I’m wondering how our concerns were convey to you by Mr.L.

P.S. I’m also sending this email to Mr. L. so that there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings.

I was a bit put off by the insinuation that she knew better how to run my class and what my kids could handle. I sent this reply:

Thank you for your concern about the vocabulary and writing development of your daughter’s class. I want to assure you that the issues you and the other mothers brought before Mr. L. at the end of last year did not fall on deaf ears.

As last year was my first year teaching, I had to figure out what worked best with my students. As the year progressed, I began to find what the methods that positively helped the students and which ones they weren’t responding to as well. Mr. F. (our director), Mr. L. and many of the teachers were great resources for teaching me how to teach. I have taken those lessons and that advice from last year and implemented them into my curriculum this year.

When you and the other mothers talked to Mr. L., it was expressed that there was not enough writing in my class last year. I admit that is an area that needed boosting and I plan on having more journal and paper writing worked into the class this year. You will hopefully begin to see those starting as soon as next week.

Mr. L. also told me about your concerns dealing with the amount of vocabulary being taught in my class. However, he told me that the crux of your visit seemed to be the writing issue and that vocabulary was a lesser concern and mostly something you desired for your own children. As a concession to this concern, I decided to offer the additional vocabulary to (the students).

As I explained in the letter I sent home, the reason I give only 10 vocabulary words a week is because I feel the majority of students in my class have better retention of the words when only 10 are given. My goal with vocabulary is to offer the students new, more expressive word choices they can use in daily conversation, so retention is key to the success of that goal.

I have students from all backgrounds in my classroom. Some are just out of ESL classes while others, like your daughter, have a high proficiency level and understanding of the English language. In general, not everyone is ready for additional words each week. Overloading my students with more words than they can accurately recall is defeating the purpose of vocabulary.

It is not wrong to have a high expectation for learning. But rote memorization is not learning; it is spouting off a list of words. I feel that to give most students 20 words a week would be feeding into this dangerous and non-productive trap. I could attempt to learn 50 words of Korean a day, but if I have no idea what they mean or the correct context in which to use them, they are useless to me. Same goes for English vocabulary. If the students hear 20 words a week, but never grasp what they mean because they get lost in the other words, then the point of learning is completely nullified.

I changed the format of my vocabulary quizzes because of this. I found their retention level was better when they were forced to use them in a contextual sentence form rather than just writing the vocabulary word in a blank next to the definition. I found that many students were just finding one key word in the definition as they studied (possibly for the first time since being introduced to the words) before class and connecting a vocabulary word with that keyword. If asked to use that word in a sentence or tell me what it meant a week later, many students could not because their method of study was flawed and their retention was, more often than not, nonexistent.

Two other barriers I’m facing are the school’s policy of 20 minutes of homework per night/class and the amount of class time I have to present the vocabulary. Many of my students tell me that the vocabulary assignments push the limits of homework time already. When I present the vocabulary words each week, I often times barely have enough time to present the new words during the already cramped class time. To add another 10 words to the mix would mean taking away from the other objectives in the class because I’d have to add another day of vocabulary to the schedule. I have told the students that are taking on the extra vocabulary assignment that the only time I will have to present these words to them are during their lunch period. Otherwise, they have to learn them on their own.

As we move into the literature section of the course, I will be expecting them to learn more of the words that are presented in conjunction with the stories they are reading. They will need to know these for the “Quests” (quiz-sized tests) and I expect the students to understand them to better comprehend the stories. So there will be more vocabulary offered to the entire class, but this will come once we finish the grammar portion of the class.

I have discussed this topic at length with the high school English teachers and they are both in agreement that I am presenting the vocabulary in a way that is best helping the students with retention as well as preparing them for high school level work. Mr. L. also gave his blessing to the path I’ve chosen to take with vocabulary.

I feel that what I am doing is the best method for learning and I have offered your daughter and the children of the other concerned parents the option of extra vocabulary because of the concerns brought before Mr. L. I am now planning on extending that option to more parents, but do not plan to make it a part of my regular course study. I have to look out for the well-being and learning capabilities of my students as a class, not as an individual.

Thank you again for your concerns and I hope to see your daughter, as well as all my students, thrive during this school year.

Today I received a polite email back from the parent stating that she now understood my concerns and the parents felt I would no longer be needing to teach their students the extra vocabulary at school, but that they would be learning them at home.

Now, I have to add that I wish some American parents would show this kind of initiative towards their child’s education. I feel that parents should be involved in their child’s education and not think that the only role they play is the person who puts them on the bus. My issue comes when a parent puts so much pressure on a child that they have to leave the room crying because they made a bad grade on a test. By the way… that “bad” grade was a 97. We call that the “Korean Fail.”

It’d be nice if I could somehow bottle the compromise and sell it to every parent of school-aged children, but it isn’t going to happen.

Otherwise… am I diplomatic or what???

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Everywhere I Go… There You Are

Aug 9

Posted by Brandon in Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

The last few days have really taken their toll on me mentally.

I never really broadcasted one of the issues in my life last year: my roommate, DJ. Yes, I did mention him from time to time, but for the most part I kept him out of the blog spotlight. Some my readers know more than others, but without going into much detail… I had a bad living situation last year. This was also a significant reason for my lack of blogging at certain points in the year, due mostly to the fact that the thing weighing most heavily on me was our inability to see eye to eye… but I wasn’t going to air that laundry for everyone to see.

I don’t plan to rehash the past here and I also don’t plan on delving into the problems we faced last year. Perhaps one day, when I get a major book deal for my memoirs, I’ll add “The DJ Chronicles” addendum to my life story. But for now, all you need to understand is that our personalities were polar opposites, he compared himself to Batman at one point, I moved out for about a week in October, and toward the end I got tired of trying to be his friend and getting nothing in return. Needless to say, we did not end things on a high note.

Here in the present, I have a new roommate, Tain, and DJ is no longer working at the school… or Korea for that matter. But the shadows of the past still haunt me. Everywhere I go, it reminds me of another bit of hurt I experienced. I feel like he’s hiding close by, waiting to pop out and show me that his leaving is all a dream.

I come home… I’m reminded of the broken dishes and having to walk past him in the living room while he played XBox. I recall the times I barricaded myself in my room because I couldn’t handle the stress and pain that he caused me. I recall the time he threw a chair and punched a wall because he was so angry at me.

I go to the teacher’s lounge at school… my stomach tenses up because I lived in fear of him walking out of his office in the adjacent room while I was eating lunch or making copies.

I go to church… I remember the first few weeks of attending, sitting in the back together. Then there were the times I couldn’t look in your direction because I needed to “man up” and confront you about a problem I had with something you’d done, but was too afraid to say it.

I walk down the street… I remember the awkward silences as we’d walk to the store or wherever we were heading.

I see Korea… and in it I see DJ.

But in some ways, I miss him… not enough to live with him again, though. I still want the best for him and want him to know that. He and I had our problems, but I also know he was going through a difficult time and I hope he has worked some of his issues out. I haven’t spoken to him since we parted back in June, but there have been so many times I’ve wanted to do it. I’m just too afraid to break the ice.

I just want to find a way to move past it all and get a fresh start… but my brain can’t let go.

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Welcome Aboard Deja Vu Airlines

Aug 4

Posted by Brandon in Korea, PSA, Teaching, The Reboot, vacation

This is the true story… of one international teacher… Trying to get back to Korea… So he can mold impressionable minds… Find out what happens… When he stops using his head… And continues flying Delta… It’s The Worst Airline in the Real World!!!
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So, I don’t know… maybe I had just taken stupid pills when I decided to book my flight with Delta back in April. Perhaps I was having a Memento moment and had completely forgotten what happened last time. Or perhaps I was stupid and believed what happened to me on my flight here last year could NEVER happen again.

Someone hit me with a sledge hammer next time I book with Delta!!!

It started off like a normal morning before a big trip. There’s that apprehension you forgot something (like the Kraft Chipotle Mayo) and the anticipation of getting the 14 hour flight over with. But what happened today changed my definition of normal.

For me, normal is apparently showing up to the airport at 10a to find that your initial 11a flight has been delayed (mechanical issues this year, not weather). Normal is also finding out that that delay will keep you from making your connection to Tokyo (is there a yearly echo in this room?). I’ve found normal includes being rebooked on the non-stop flight to Seoul out of Atlanta (I guess I’m destined to always go non-stop and never see Tokyo. Perhaps O-Ren and the Crazy 88s are waiting to kill me there…). However, I was also given the option to flight to Paris and then to Seoul, putting me in a day late. That might have been a little more fun.

But alas, no matter how you define normal… I’m the one that gets frelled!

I went to Chick-Fil-A (nothing makes problems go away like Chick-Fil-A!) and headed home for a few hours until my rescheduled 4p flight. When we checked the schedule at home, my flight was once again delayed to an indeterminate time. Long story short… arrived as they were making their final boarding call. Awesome… off to Atlanta.

The nice thing about Atlanta is that I get to chill with my best bud, Jack. As I now have a 5 1/2 hour layover until my 12:30a flight, we were able to meet up and grab a bite to eat.

Rewind…

Forgot to tell you about the call I made to Delta about fixing my problems. To begin with, the voucher I was going to use for the 3rd piece of luggage I packed did not cover baggage… only airfare. So I had to pay the $150 out of pocket (and the voucher expires on August 20th… thus lapsing before I can even use it). Secondly, when I booked my original flight to Tokyo, I was seated on the aisle, which is good because every other international flight has put me in the center seat… and I can’t sleep in a center seat! When they rebooked me on the Korean Air non-stop flight, I was booked… in a center seat. To top it all off, orientation for work starts at 8a. My original flight arrived the night before, giving me time to rest and refresh. Now my arrival is set for 4a and the bus to Uijongbu doesn’t arrive until 6a, putting me in town at 7a. Great… an hour to unload my bags and put on some deodorant.

***Update*** Just found that it’s only NEW teacher orientation today… but still!!!

I get on the phone and tell the Delta rep all these things, plus told him that this was the second year in a row this type of service has been afforded to me (Check July 30-31, 2009 entry for a memory refresher, if needed). He told me he couldn’t help me and transferred me to another department. I once again tell the whole story to another woman. She also can’t help me and puts me on hold whilst she talks to another department. Finally, she gets on and tells me there is nothing she can do but issue me a new voucher for my troubles… this time a $200 voucher. I have to wonder if I’d get $250 if I’m stupid enough to try this again next year. I told her, “Unfortunately that voucher is worthless to me because I’m never flying your airline again. Give me cash, upgrade my non-stop flight to Korea to first class or refund my extra baggage cost (I would have been happy if they did that), but don’t insult me with another voucher!!!” I was informed because it was not a Delta flight and rather their Skyteam partner’s, Korean Air, that upgrading would be impossible because Delta wouldn’t foot that bill and Korean Air wouldn’t accept Delta’s voucher. All they could do for me was give me a new voucher and that I was welcome to email corporate with my complaints.

Once the Korean Air counter opened, I went up to check my seat assignment and hopefully get it changed. I was informed that the flight was completely booked and they couldn’t get me out of the seat. Defeated, tired and angry, I got the direct number to Delta customer service. At 12a, I sat in a quiet section of the Atlanta terminal and let Delta have a piece of my mind and informed them that there is no chance of them ever getting my business again. All the guy could do was tell me he’s sorry for my troubles and have a good flight.

Over the loudspeaker, I hear the boarding call for my flight. As I step into line, my name is called and I walk over to the desk. Sensing my frustration and anger, the woman at the counter asked another gentleman if he’d be willing to switch seats with me. I thanked the two people and took my new boarding pass. This was more than Delta did to productively assist me.

So to Korean Airlines… I thank your counter reps for their assistance in a manner that was actually helpful.

To Delta… No wonder you’ve been named the worst airline in the United States. Two years in a row on the same flight plan you have given me the worst possible service with conflict resolution that’s of little consequence. My butt won’t be warming the seats of your airline ever again.

I have a $200 Delta voucher for sale. Anyone out there crazy enough to buy it?
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Fun Fact #762: Had it not been for the fact that his flight left at 12:30a on August 3rd, Brandon would have never set foot on the ground on that date as his flight arrived in Seoul on August 4th at 4a.

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Water… Water… Everywhere!!!

Jun 10

Posted by Brandon in Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

Last day of school… a phrase that brings joy to the hearts of students and teachers alike. I have to admit, I might have been looking forward to it a little more than the kids. Wait… no… I wasn’t screaming and jumping off the walls quite as much as they were this last week. I’ve just been waiting because I NEED A REST! This week was all half days, but because I was working on three days of drama skits with some of the kids, having to quickly memorize lines and produce and direct the whole thing, I was a little stressed out. I was happy to help take a load off Jeanelle (the drama teacher) after the stress she went through the last couple months to put on the fantastic presentation of And Then There Were None three weeks ago.

After my dinner with Daniel last night, I didn’t know how I’d react to goodbye’s today. I mean, I’m not very good with change and saying goodbye and all the blubbering that goes along with it. I always try to be strong, but inside I’m always bawling. But I told myself I was going to be strong today.

After our final awards chapel of the week, we split up into our separate classes and headed off to class parties. I was trying to find some stuff before going back to the classroom, so by the time I got there, my sixth graders (hard to believe I can now call them seventh graders) were ready to ambush me like lions in the safari. As I walked into the classroom, I was greeted with the cold spray of water.

For a moment, I just stood there a bit angry that I was now wet, but soon began to move like a wet zombie toward the child with the water pistol. I chased him around the room until I finally captured him and turned the gun toward his stomach. I proceeded to grab the trigger and fill him full of his own water. I pried the gun from his cold, wet hand.

Just then, I felt a splash on the back of my head and turned to find a second gun being squirted at me by another student. I turned my freshly procured pistol on the student and once again found myself running around the room, only this time shooting back. Soon the guns were empty and I got the kids seated around the cluster of desks in the middle of the room. I gave them the “I’ll never forget you as my first class” speech, which almost made them fall asleep. I said a quick general goodbye to all the students that wouldn’t be returning and gave a playful word of warning to my returners about my demerit system revisions.

We dug into the food and the party was underway. Unfortunately, food doesn’t necessarily distract students with water pistols for long.

Soon, the water gun fight moved to the hallway as a couple of the eighth grade students pulled out their water-based weaponry. Once again, I ended up soaked and that’s when my sixth graders came to avenge my soaking. As touched as I was, it eventually became a dangerous matter when some students just grabbed cups of water and dumped them on other students, causing hazardous puddling on the floor. I was forced to put an end to the fun and games and turned the students’ attention to clean-up.

But that wasn’t the end of the water that day.

About a half an hour later, I was cleaning up the remnants of the party and went to dump some liquids in the bathroom sink. As I threw open the guys bathroom door, I was met with a shocking sight. The guy’s bathroom was a small room containing two stalls, two urinals and a sink. However, when I opened the door, I found about 15 students (guys and girls) packed like sardines in the room, sobbing. I just stood there for a moment in awe. I didn’t know what to say.

The reason for their tears was that at least three of the students would not be returning next year.

Not to say it’s not rough to say goodbye in your typical American school, but you have to remember what some of these kids go through. I’ll refer you back to my previous blog entry on August 25, 2009 and think about how many times some of these kids have to go through it. Saying goodbye is a constant in many of these children’s lives and it’s difficult to do so as your stability is always changing.

It was another difficult day for me as well. Yesterday I had to say goodbye to Daniel and today I was having to say goodbye to some of my other favorite students. I was emotionally fine until I went to give hugs to my two students. It was at that point that I absolutely lost it. I began weeping as well.

My heart broke as I say one of the students crying. Actually crying isn’t even an appropriate word. It was more like wailing. For about half an hour, I held many of the students, trying to calm them down.

At the same time, there was a dichotomy to the moment. While the majority of the students were showing their grief in this manner, at least two students had no emotional reaction. I asked one of them what was going on and he told me that he has had to say goodbye so many times in the past that it had just become commonplace in his life. He had gotten to the point that he no longer felt anything.

I really felt heartache for both parties.

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A Farewell Dinner with One of My Favorite People in the Whole World

Jun 9

Posted by Brandon in Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

These last few days have been bittersweet for me. Students graduating, the school year coming to an end, saying goodbye to non-graduating students that will not be returning next year and the thought of heading back to the States for a short respite (and perhaps time to catch up on all my blogging). But today was littered with little surprises.

First, as we were preparing to go to the cafeteria to hand out awards, one of my students handed me a small makeshift envelope with my name on it. He told me I didn’t have to open it now and to wait until later. After a long half day of successfully performing the final installment of a skit for VBS (HALLELUJAH!!!) and working on classroom clean-up, I ran across the envelope sitting on top of my podium. I opened it up to find a note written inside.

The reason I’m sending this letter is to thank you for teaching me over this school year. I am very grateful to have you as my grammar/reading teacher! I’ve learned a lot, whether it is life lessons, Bible lessons, vocabulary lessons, or even the laws of English. I am glad to be your student for Bible class next year and hope to know more about God.

P.S. – Your class was very fun! Keep up the good/funny work.

But the touching moments didn’t stop there.

I have had the privilege of being blessed by one of my new favorite people in the entire world. His name is Daniel, he was a senior this year and an absolute Godsend to me. I want to take a few moments to tell you why he’s so incredible.

About midway through my first quarter, I was floundering in a sea of paperwork that needed to be graded. I was under a load of stress to get these grades in the gradebook before midterm progress reports were sent to the parents and I had no one to help me out. I didn’t have a Teacher’s Assistant because I didn’t know if/think I’d need one. Plus, I didn’t know if anymore were available. I made a desperate cry to the guidance counselor for help and she provided me with a list of possible candidates and told me that each of these students had opted out of the TA program for various reasons. But she put a star next to three that she said would be stellar choices if I could convince one of them to change their mind. Daniel was the one she recommended the highest.

She told me that he had opted out because of sporting conflicts he’d have during the year and that he couldn’t work every day in my class. I found Daniel and pitched him an offer I didn’t think he could refuse. Instead of working for me for 5 days a week, I’d only ask 2 days of him. After a little negotiating of terms, he finally accepted my offer. This was how I got Daniel to become my TA.

During the course of the next 8 1/2 months, Daniel worked tirelessly for me 2 days a week (3 days if it was a super hectic week, per our negotiations). He complained (in a kidding manner… I think), he teased, we joked, and I piled the work on him. In all the time I worked with him, I never heard one comment that was seriously disparaging. Even this week during exams, he came in AFTER HE GRADUATED and was no longer required to step foot inside this institution of learning to grade my last exam for me (and it was a doozy). Many teachers were envious.

Tonight I took Daniel out to dinner at a local Indian restaurant to thank him for his months of service and dedication. It was the least I could do and not nearly enough to repay him. We talked for a while about a lot of things, mostly dealing with what life will be like in America. He was worried about getting his wallet stolen in Oklahoma and losing the sticker pictures inside (*side note*: Notice how he’s not living in fear of our N. Korean neighbors and is more concerned about the dangerous threat of life in America. TAKE NOTE AMERICANS!). I assured him he’d be fine as he was moving to Oklahoma and not NYC. During dinner I also convinced him that buying a gun for protection is not completely necessary. He laughed pretty hard.

He asked a lot of questions about life in the dorms, having to share a bathroom with 3 other people and of what foods a typical American dinner consisted. I talked to him about why he should consider becoming a teacher (I was the 7th person to recommend this line of work) and what life is like being that far from your immediate family. It was a good talk. But then he got to talking about what tomorrow would bring at school during the last day. He said he would be relieved that his final act as student body president would be complete, but that he was afraid of his emotional reaction to seeing some people for the last time and what would happen if he missed someone. I told him I’d take some of the pressure off him and he could say goodbye to me tonight so he wouldn’t feel bad if he didn’t get the opportunity tomorrow. Personally, I know how hard it can be to realize you missed saying goodbye to someone.

After dinner, we grabbed some ice cream, said our goodbyes and he boarded the bus that would take him home. I did a good job… I didn’t cry! But I really wanted to.

Daniel, I will miss your sense of humor and the fact that you got mine. I will miss the fact that I only need to tell you something once and you know exactly what to do. I’ll miss our talks, your dedication and the look you’d get when I’d surprise you with “one last thing to grade.” But most of all, I’ll miss your positive attitude and the infectious laugh that always accompanied you. You made this school a brighter place and your genuine compassion for the people around you is something I wish more people would have.

I wish you the best and I know this change is taking its toll on you, but you’ll make it. I know this because I see a lot of me in you and look where I am. Don’t let the world make you hard and continue following God wherever He leads you. I’ll be praying for you and if you ever need someone to talk to, you know you can hit me up anytime.

So, thank you, Daniel, from the bottom of my heart. I know I told you this every time you came to work for me, I just hope you understand how much your hard work meant to me and how much stress you took off my loaded shoulders. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The best TA in the whole world!

The best TA in the whole world!

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Like Me for Who I am or Keep Your Big Mouths Shut!

Jun 6

Posted by Brandon in Korea, PSA, Random Thinking, Teaching, The Reboot

This entry is closely connected to an entry about an incident that occurred back in April that I just got around to posting. Please refer to the following link for more about this important topic: http://www.myrebootat30.com/?p=785

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I care about all my students and, quite honestly, I love my job and the people I work with on a daily basis. But something upsetting was brought to my attention today. Something that I’m actually surprised it took this long to become breached, but none the less did. I was forced to confront me being me.

So, rumor going around school amongst some students AND faculty has to with my sexuality. I will be the first to admit, I’m not an average guy. I’m very expressive and, in the words of my roommate, act a bit effeminate. I feel that this makes me a unique individual… and you know what, I’m comfortable in my uniqueness. Often times, it seems like my friends are comfortable with it as well, unless of course, they’ve been lying to me all this time and no one really likes me as is. Regardless, people say they like me for who I am and that I’m unlike anyone they’ve ever met. On the flip side of the coin, it also seems like I’ve been judged because people can’t fit me into their nice neat box of categorization. I’m also well-aware of the stereotype assumptions that are made about guys my age that are single.

Without saying it in so many words, my roommate has even came out and told me that the reason he kept his distance and never tried to be my friend or get close to me was because he didn’t know if I was gay or not. And not only him, but now teachers and students are discussing this topic behind my back… and it INFURIATES me. So what if I like candles, can cook and watch “Glee”?

What’s interesting is that when some people (a lot of times women) meet me for the first time, they seem to like me because of my energy and craziness. However, many times it seems that they like me that way in hopes that I can be a different kind of guy that can love them. But when I don’t give them the anticipated response, it’s like suddenly the only reason I won’t is because I like guys.

I’ve been single pretty much all my life. I’ve dated very little and a big reason for this is because I enjoy my freedom. I like the fact that I can make my own decisions and do what I want when I want. Sure, I have to make this exchange at the cost of not having someone to love and share my life with, but it’s a choice I’ve made.

Another reason for my single status is because I haven’t found the right person. And on that topic, you can’t force yourself to be the right person. I do not like to be pushed and prodded into decisions in general. Throwing yourself at me and forcing me to make a decision in YOUR time rather than mine is the biggest turnoff you can demonstrate to me. I want to know that I love someone because I love them, not because I’m questioning whether I love someone because I’m being pushed into it.

I have other reasons for why I don’t date, but those are two of the big ones. I’m not discounting the fact that perhaps one day I’ll find the right person for me. But until that day comes, I’m going to be content with my status.

Next, it seems that the way I have embraced the Korean culture is another cause for questioning my sexuality. GUYS CAN TOUCH EACH OTHER HERE AND NOT BE GAY!!! I’m not talking touching inappropriately. I’m talking about putting their arm around another guy, hugging a guy and… dare I say it… holding another guy’s hand!!! I’ve always been a very touchy person and it was a relief to me to find that so are many Koreans.

What’s funny… I’ve seen male students do all the above and no one thinks twice about it… unless you’re from America or have the American mindset. I know this is an international school and I know there still need to be certain boundaries placed between students and teachers, but just because I’ve done all those things above in a culture that is accepting of it… that makes me gay? Did anyone notice… WE’RE NOT IN AMERICA!!! Instead of trying to change their ways to the American way and being totally USA-centric, understand we’re on their turf. According to what I’ve heard, the majority of the people making these comments are Americans or people that have been strongly influenced by them. Few to any Koreans have expressed any problems.

One reason I’ve tried to become so close with my male students is because there are so few positive male role models in their lives. I’ve tried to be close to them because the girls have the female teachers to relate to… but the guys have grown up going through a system that is predominately filled by women. The ladies can show care, compassion and teach the many girls at our school how to be women. But often times the guys get left out. Why can’t the guys be shown that they are cared about as well by other guys in a way that is deemed culturally acceptable?

Who are we teaching these boys to be if we keep our distance? We’re raising a generation of men that can only bond in sporting activities and other “manly” ways. But try to show any kind of emotion, and you are WEAK!!! My roommate is one of the weaker men I’ve known. He has told me that he has to be able to handle his own crap and even compared himself to Batman to illustrate his point. But when push came to shove, he was bottling up all his emotions and problems up until he collapsed like a house of cards because he realized he couldn’t handle them on his own. Do we really want another generation like this?

Men need each other for support and it’s even a principle taught in the Bible (I know this because we have been studying it in Bible study). So why can’t I show these guys that they are important and are loved and that someone cares about them without being given a label?

It disturbed me earlier this year when someone made a comment about a video I posted on Facebook that included a bunch of the high school guys joking around and lip-syncing to the song “My Heart Will Go On” while taking a break from cleaning the school gym. The person told me that he thought he was watching child porn and that these boys needed to learn how to act like real men. First off, I’ll say to the person that you once again need to understand the culture and how nothing on this video was inappropriate. Secondly, I’d add that if “real men” have to be like a lot of the men I’ve met in my life… we need fewer “real men” and actual men that know how real men are supposed to act.

We have been watching a video series every morning before school that deals with lessons to be learned from the Israelites and their journey through the wilderness into the Promised Land. The last segment dealt with helping each other as a community and helping nurture future generations and give them the proper “soil” in which to grow. Ray VanderLaan, the speaker, talked about how so many kids today can’t grow properly because so much of their “soil” has been eroded away.

I think one reason for this is because of the way people in America are so afraid to even look at a child for fear that it’ll be taken the wrong way. Kids don’t know they’re cared for and they are being raised to be taught that human contact is wrong. No wonder kids hate each other and authority… because they think authority hates them and they act the same way toward each other. This is why I don’t think I could ever teach in the States because I believe the societal stranglehold being placed on adults is harming our kids. I understand the reasoning behind some of it and the protection it offers, but it’s gone too far.

This year, I’ve been labeled as a pornographer, a potential pedophile and now this. This is the best job I’ve ever had. I care deeply about my students. I want them to succeed and I want them to grow up understanding that someone loves them and perhaps show them through that that God loves them too.

I don’t know what the consequences of this post are going to be. Perhaps I’ll be having another reboot at thirty-one. Maybe people will ostracize me and I’ll be left to deal with all this alone. But for people to gossip about these things behind my back without even trying to get to know me in most cases, you should be appalled at your behavior. I’ve had non-Christian co-workers that have treated me better than you and could have cared less about my sexual orientation. Like me for the unique person God made me and stop trying to fit me into your stereotype boxes. Why does any of this even matter? It’s time you stop trying to ruin my life. It’s time you learned to keep your rumormongering mouths shut!

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Shaving Will Apparently Get You a Woman

Jun 4

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

Exam day… what a relief!!! I’m that much closer to summer. Two exams down and one to go. Chaos as I administered exams to nearly 55 kids and then had to collect and grade the condition of all their textbooks. After that we had a yearbook signing party which was fun, but mass hysteria. Good times were had and Erin and the yearbook staff did a good job of putting it together.

Later, as I was talking to some students in front of my apartment complex, an older Korean man came up and started making conversation. This is odd, but at the same time, not an anomaly. I’ve had some Koreans who just stop me on the sidewalk or on the subway to use their limited English to speak to me. So this wasn’t a big deal.

Big problem: he was drunk.

We could smell the beer and soju on his breath every time he spoke directly to one of us. The whole time, he kept going on about how old I was, but still single. Then he added, as he rubbed my face, that if I were to shave, I’d really have the Korean women all over me. Granted, most of this conversation was being translated through my students, but the awkward laughs they made told me they didn’t know what to make of this guy.

I showed him the following picture from before I came to Korea:

My students call me "Bigfoot."

My students call me "Bigfoot"

He definitely knew how to curse in English. He didn’t believe it was really me.

Eventually, I realized this guy wasn’t going away on his own, so I told him I needed to go grade exams. My students said they needed to go with me and the man finally said goodbye.

As we rounded the corner, one of the students asked why the other was going with us (because he didn’t live in the apartment complex). The student replied, “I was just afraid to be left alone with that guy. I figured I’d follow you and it’d be a good way to get away.”

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Who Said Swim Team Couldn’t Be Fun???

May 28

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Korea, Sports, Teaching, The Reboot

Not much in the way of set-up is going to happen here. Basically, the swim coach asked me to shoot a video for our school’s sports banquet and this is what I came up with. Thankfully, the kids loved it and didn’t take it the wrong way and everyone was laughing hysterically. I was worried they’d think I was making fun of them. Anyway, hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed shooting, writing and editing it (I way overcommit).

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The Best Bonus Snipe Hunt EVER!!!

May 6

Posted by Brandon in Funny Things, Korea, Teaching, The Reboot

My 6th grade students were taking a grammar test today and I never would have believed that this would be the day the funniest thing that I’ve experienced all year would happen.

All the students at this school are obsessed with bonus points.

“Can we get bonus points for bringing in tissues?”

“Why don’t you ever put bonus questions on the test, Mr. Benoit?”

“If you love us, Mr. Benoit, you’d give us more bonuses.”

These are questions and statements I hear pretty much every day in my class, despite the fact that I laid out my bonus policy early on in the school year. My personal philosophy on bonus points is that they should be special and something for which you worked. I’m not just going to randomly throw these things out like they are candy. My teachers in school didn’t do it that way, so neither am I. I don’t give bonus for tissues because I feel you are buying your grade… plus if you are forced to use your sleeve, you’ll bring them in on your own.

I feel the bonus points I have given this year have been well-deserved. Writing a bonus essay, hiding bonuses in test directions to see if the students are reading them, or perhaps a bonus cumulative quiz over all the vocabulary words that quarter. These seem like fair and reasonable times to award bonus points.

But still they continue to give me grief over which teacher just gives out tons of bonuses and ask why I can’t be that way because it’s not fair. I tell the little whiners that I’m not like other teachers and that I’m going to just have to learn to somehow live with myself. I tell them to do good work on their regular assignments and then you wouldn’t need bonus points.

Anyway, back to my amazing story…

A few of the students had finished the test in record time and refused to check over their answers. This concerned me. No matter how many times I remind them to do this, they still neglect it and often make silly mistakes. But today, I got the best gift of all time from an unexpected place.

“I FOUND A BONUS!!!”

This came from the mouth of one of the students. They claimed it was a bonus hidden in one of the test questions and they’d discovered it. Once I hid a bonus in the question by telling them to write the word “green” in the blank to the left and they would receive bonus points. I wanted to see if they were paying attention or just flying through things. One students even called me over, laughed as he showed me he wrote “green” in the blank and then proceeded to erase it and answer it as if it were a regular question. Needless to say he fussed after the test when I announced it was a bonus. Since then, my kids nitpick everything.

When the student announced to the class there was a bonus, a sudden flurry of inquisitive minds wanted to know where and sleeping students wake up to search. Some students asked me if there was one and where it was. I told them they’d need to double check their test and read carefully because perhaps they missed it.

Fun little fact: There was no bonus.

For the next 15 minutes, pages were flying, questions furiously read and re-read, and yellow highlighters marking a question with the word “yellow” being used as an adjective. It was a mass frenzy with every student claiming they found it. Then suddenly…

“I FOUND ANOTHER BONUS!!!”

It was like a gift from God! This was the best day ever. I needed a good laugh today and this I feel will last me the rest of the year.

Finally, it was 2 minutes before the bell was to ring. I told the students it was time to pass up their papers. A chorus of “I’m still looking” and “Wait… I need one more minute” resounded from the student body. I hastily finished collecting the tests and moved to the front of the room.

I asked, “So… does anyone want me to tell them what the bonus was?”

An unanimous shout of “yes” filled the room.

“Okay… the bonus was… nonexistent. There was no bonus.”

A now angry mob full of jeerers and upset middle schoolers replaced the once excited crowd. I was accused of lying, but reminded them that I never said there was a bonus… just that they should double-check to make sure they didn’t miss one. I also reminded them that when I give bonuses, they would know it because I would put something about a bonus in the question or directions.

They bell rang and they stomped out of the class. There were a few that acted like they never believed there was a bonus, but the rest were definitely upset they were tricked into double-checking their work.

Personally, I thought it was the best bonus snipe hunt ever!

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The Power of the Tounge

Apr 27

Posted by Brandon in Korea, PSA, Random Thinking, Teaching, The Reboot

The power of the tongue… it’s something many people don’t think about. People joke, they say things to get a laugh or to make themselves feel better. But at what cost? This idea was brought to life in a way I would have rather not experienced this week. It has really been rough for me. It was one of those moments that sticks with you because of the hurt and pain it brings. It’s one of those moments that could potentially change the course of your life or brand you in a way you don’t want to be branded.

On Monday, one of my 8th grade girls approached me before class and told me she had something important to tell me about what some of her classmates were saying. She told me a few of the girls in the class were saying they had gotten on my computer and were telling people I was watching porn and looking at pornographic pictures. At first I brushed it off because I knew it couldn’t have been true as they would never have found anything like that on my computer.

During class, we were studying Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech. We started off by watching a short documentary vignette about Dr. King’s life to set up the historical significance of the speech. The resolution on the video was not the best and to also enlarge it to fit on the Activboard screen made the problem even worse. At one point, the class started laughing and carrying on and I told them to stop because this was serious and they needed to understand what was going on in the United States at the time.

After class finished, the same girl came up to me and told me the reason for the commotion during the video. Apparently when they saw the pixelation and poor video quality, one girl cried out in Korean, “Pornography!” This is what caused the class to lose it.

I asked her who had started these rumors. She told me she had asked the person who told her, and that person told her to ask someone else and so on. Eventually it got back to the fact that some girls had seen me watching a video (TV’s “In Plain Sight”) while I was eating my lunch. However, the back of the computer was to them, so they just started saying I was watching porn. Then after I left the room to take my dish back to the cafeteria, they claimed to have gotten on my computer and found porn pictures on the internet and stuff like that.

By this point, I’m a bit miffed. Mostly because it was painful that they were spreading these lies and I questioned, “What will the other kids think when they hear these things?”. I immediately went to the principal and told him of the accusations.

The thing that bothered me the most, though, was that I felt I’ve devoted my life to teaching these kids and show them how much I care about their well-being… and this is how I’m repaid! And the thing they don’t get is just how hard it is to shake a reputation based on slanderous remarks like these. Spreading rumors like these ruin reputations. But it’s just another day to them.

Was someone upset over a detention I had given them? I mean, there was also a Korean message written on one of the desks in my classroom that translated to “Mr. B. is a son of a…” Honestly, this didn’t really bother me as much because it’s an opinion. Despite the fact the girl I believe did it denied it, the facts of the case were pretty clear: 1.) there are only two people that sit at that desk, 2.) the other person was the one that pointed it out (during the first period of the day), and 3.) the girl got a detention the final class period of the previous day and was visibly angry at me.

But to say I’m viewing pornography is flat out salacious! At the same time, for all I know, they have no clue of what they are accusing me of doing. I had a number of the same girls who kept calling me “pervert” until one of the teachers pulled them aside and asked them if they knew what that meant. The students claimed they didn’t and were mortified when they found out. For all I know, their definition of pornography lined up with the pictures I took of the guys swim meet for yearbook. Guys without shirts on… THAT’S PORNOGRAPHIC!!!

My honest belief is that these kids starting the rumors (who are ESL), hear words in movies and on TV shows. Then, knowing only that they are insulting, use them without even knowing what they mean or how bad they really are. This concerns me not only as an English teacher who is trying to help them expand their vocabulary in a proper way, but also to the extent that they don’t think about the serious consequences and effects that negative comments can have on people’s lives.

So next time you go to say something negative to someone else or spread rumors, think about this. For one, how would you like it if the shoe was on the other foot?

Update: I later found out that part of the joking came because of websites like YouTube that take money from unsavory people by allowing scantily clad women and inappropriate advertising to grace the edges of their pages. Teachers were using these websites to show videos to illustrate a class topic and the girls saw ads popping up and started joking that we were looking at and forcing them to watch pornography.

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