Shortly after posting my emergency panic to the world, I was given a lead on the elusive Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers. Later, this intel was confirmed by another source, so I was fairly confident in its validity.

I was now on a mission. I had to make my way to the COEX mall in Seoul in search of the endangered snack that brings such happiness to my world. I was told to look for the place that sells Jelly Belly’s and there I would find my prize. Unfortunately, I had no store name with which to proceed.

I arrived at the COEX, pulse pounding. I could sense my prey’s presence. But it is a very large mall. I began searching for any stores that carried jellybeans, but found none. I went from one end of the mall to the other, looking in every shop window. I found plenty of jewelry and boatloads of other junk that wouldn’t fulfill my hunger.

The other problem I faced was that I did not have the handphone numbers of either of my informants. I was becoming concerned that despite the multiple sources, my hunt would be fruitless. Then I realized… I had the number of someone that could put me in contact with my first contact.

Soon I was conversing with someone that could put me on the right track. She described the area that housed the shop. It was in an offshoot section of the mall in an area I had not visited yet. I recalled seeing the signs she mentioned and was already on my way by the time we hung up.

My “fish-dar” was going wild! They were close… very close.

Suddenly, out of the farthest corner of my eye, I spotted a store that resembled the one of which she spoke. This had to be it. All the landmarks seemed to fit. I walked into this mecca for American snacks and various foods.

I saw Honey Roasted Peanuts for 13,000 won. I found very small packs of Oreos for 5,500 won. Both these overpriced items made me fearful for what I might have to pay for my treasure. But at this point, I was desperate enough to cut off an arm. As I turned, I saw a bright light beaming from an unknown origin.

THIS WAS IT!!! Bags and bags of gold… goldfish, that is.

My usual calm demeanor was now replaced with one that could best be described as “Gollum-like” in nature. I loaded bag after bag into my arms and took them to the checkout counter. The look on the woman’s face was priceless. She even gave out a high-pitched “huh” of shock. She counted. “Nine bags?” she asked. “Oh… no,” I replied, “ten.” There was that sound again. She rang them up and placed them into the first shopping bag… and then into the second. The beauty of the total price… THEY WERE HALF OFF!!!

My quest was an overwhelming success and I walked out of the store carrying two large shopping bags of Goldfish Crackers. Boy I must have looked like an idiot. But I didn’t care. Chances are now that I might make it to Christmas now.

Top this shopping trip off with a trip to On The Border for a spicy chimichanga (I chose that over Sbarro) and it was quite the costly day. But in the end… to appease the monster inside of me… it was all worth it.

Oh… I got the same look from the woman when I went back and bought five more bags after lunch. I mean… who knows when I’m going to get a chance to go back? And, at 2,000 won a bag, I couldn’t afford to let this little taste of sanity go swimming away.

I was starting to run low on groceries, so my friend and fellow teacher, Erin, and I went to HomePlus, one of the major grocery chain in the area, to stock up on much needed supplies. Oh… if only I’d known what I was about to discover, I wouldn’t have gone on this trip and continued to live in peaceful bliss.

We arrived at the store and were filling the cart with the much needed supplies. I’d picked up some bulgogi, a couple glass pitchers for making iced tea and some delicious wheat bread that I recently discovered they finally started selling in Korea. As our trip was winding down, I suddenly remembered something I needed to pick up. I ran to the chip and cracker aisle to snag a couple bags of my comfort snack… Pepperidge Farm Cheddar Cheese Goldfish Crackers.

I turned the corner to the aisle and that’s when it happened. The most horrible atrocity I’d encountered since my arrival to these shores just over a year ago. My hands are shaking as I type this. I went to grab at the bag of heavenly comfort, when I noticed… there were no bags of Goldfish Crackers. Instead, in their place, I found… GENERIC PRINGLES!!!

This couldn’t be happening to me!!! Then the gears of my mind started whirling. Perhaps I was on the wrong aisle… nope. Maybe they were on another aisle with the dessert Pepperidge Farm products… THAT HAD TO BE IT.

NADDA!!!

I tried to run to find Erin, but my legs barely moved. She spotted me in my desperate state and asked me if I was okay. My voice quivered as I told her of my grisly discovery. She refused to believe it. She beckoned an employee, pointed to the shelf and in her best broken Korean tried to ask about the crackers. When he didn’t understand, she tried acting like a fish by puckering her lips and flapping her hands on her cheeks like gills. Suddenly the man understood. He called the back on his walkie and for a few tense, breathless moments… we waited.

Then the reply…

He waved his hands at us, in an indication that they no longer carried the only snack that could possibly help get me through the hardest times in my life. I kept thinking I need Goldfish Crackers at this moment to help me cope with my lack of Goldfish Crackers. My knees began to buckle as I could no longer support my body weight. My fingers went numb as my body when into a cold shock. I was dying.

How long could I last? Sure, I have 5 1/2 bags of my new favorite flavor (Garden Cheddar Flavor-Blasted Goldfish), but how long will those really sustain me? I give it until October before I’m forced to throw myself out my 11th floor apartment window.

We made it back to the van, a look of weariness accompanied the drool that was now running out my permanently opened mouth. The life-force drained completely from my body, we returned home. I put the now seemingly insignificant items I bought away in their cabinets and various new homes. I collapsed into bed, my life completely devastated.

How will I make it without my Goldfish???

Last year, three parents of my middle children came to air their complains to the principal about how there wasn’t enough writing and vocabulary in my class. The principal discussed their concerns with me and I agreed the writing was lacking that year, but I planned to rectify that issue this year. The vocabulary, however, I told him would not change for various reasons and he agreed with me. So I compromised by offering the kids whose parents were complaining the option of doing extra vocabulary.

I sent home a letter the first week of school informing the three parents of the bonus work. About a week later, I received this email:

I’m thankful that my kid is going to ICS where Christian values are taught.  I’m so grateful to see her grow in faith.

But many parents of ICS students are worried if our kids are being properly prepare for the universities in America and not falling behind.  Korean middle school students and foreign language junior and high school students in Korea go through rigorous curriculums. Compare to other international schools in Korea and the schools in America, are our kids going through competitive curriculums?

Those of us three mothers who went to see Mr. L. (our principal) to voice our concerns didn’t intend just for our three kids to get the letter and extra vocabulary assignment each week.

We were hoping that the whole grade would work more and be upgraded.

I’m wondering how our concerns were convey to you by Mr.L.

P.S. I’m also sending this email to Mr. L. so that there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings.

I was a bit put off by the insinuation that she knew better how to run my class and what my kids could handle. I sent this reply:

Thank you for your concern about the vocabulary and writing development of your daughter’s class. I want to assure you that the issues you and the other mothers brought before Mr. L. at the end of last year did not fall on deaf ears.

As last year was my first year teaching, I had to figure out what worked best with my students. As the year progressed, I began to find what the methods that positively helped the students and which ones they weren’t responding to as well. Mr. F. (our director), Mr. L. and many of the teachers were great resources for teaching me how to teach. I have taken those lessons and that advice from last year and implemented them into my curriculum this year.

When you and the other mothers talked to Mr. L., it was expressed that there was not enough writing in my class last year. I admit that is an area that needed boosting and I plan on having more journal and paper writing worked into the class this year. You will hopefully begin to see those starting as soon as next week.

Mr. L. also told me about your concerns dealing with the amount of vocabulary being taught in my class. However, he told me that the crux of your visit seemed to be the writing issue and that vocabulary was a lesser concern and mostly something you desired for your own children. As a concession to this concern, I decided to offer the additional vocabulary to (the students).

As I explained in the letter I sent home, the reason I give only 10 vocabulary words a week is because I feel the majority of students in my class have better retention of the words when only 10 are given. My goal with vocabulary is to offer the students new, more expressive word choices they can use in daily conversation, so retention is key to the success of that goal.

I have students from all backgrounds in my classroom. Some are just out of ESL classes while others, like your daughter, have a high proficiency level and understanding of the English language. In general, not everyone is ready for additional words each week. Overloading my students with more words than they can accurately recall is defeating the purpose of vocabulary.

It is not wrong to have a high expectation for learning. But rote memorization is not learning; it is spouting off a list of words. I feel that to give most students 20 words a week would be feeding into this dangerous and non-productive trap. I could attempt to learn 50 words of Korean a day, but if I have no idea what they mean or the correct context in which to use them, they are useless to me. Same goes for English vocabulary. If the students hear 20 words a week, but never grasp what they mean because they get lost in the other words, then the point of learning is completely nullified.

I changed the format of my vocabulary quizzes because of this. I found their retention level was better when they were forced to use them in a contextual sentence form rather than just writing the vocabulary word in a blank next to the definition. I found that many students were just finding one key word in the definition as they studied (possibly for the first time since being introduced to the words) before class and connecting a vocabulary word with that keyword. If asked to use that word in a sentence or tell me what it meant a week later, many students could not because their method of study was flawed and their retention was, more often than not, nonexistent.

Two other barriers I’m facing are the school’s policy of 20 minutes of homework per night/class and the amount of class time I have to present the vocabulary. Many of my students tell me that the vocabulary assignments push the limits of homework time already. When I present the vocabulary words each week, I often times barely have enough time to present the new words during the already cramped class time. To add another 10 words to the mix would mean taking away from the other objectives in the class because I’d have to add another day of vocabulary to the schedule. I have told the students that are taking on the extra vocabulary assignment that the only time I will have to present these words to them are during their lunch period. Otherwise, they have to learn them on their own.

As we move into the literature section of the course, I will be expecting them to learn more of the words that are presented in conjunction with the stories they are reading. They will need to know these for the “Quests” (quiz-sized tests) and I expect the students to understand them to better comprehend the stories. So there will be more vocabulary offered to the entire class, but this will come once we finish the grammar portion of the class.

I have discussed this topic at length with the high school English teachers and they are both in agreement that I am presenting the vocabulary in a way that is best helping the students with retention as well as preparing them for high school level work. Mr. L. also gave his blessing to the path I’ve chosen to take with vocabulary.

I feel that what I am doing is the best method for learning and I have offered your daughter and the children of the other concerned parents the option of extra vocabulary because of the concerns brought before Mr. L. I am now planning on extending that option to more parents, but do not plan to make it a part of my regular course study. I have to look out for the well-being and learning capabilities of my students as a class, not as an individual.

Thank you again for your concerns and I hope to see your daughter, as well as all my students, thrive during this school year.

Today I received a polite email back from the parent stating that she now understood my concerns and the parents felt I would no longer be needing to teach their students the extra vocabulary at school, but that they would be learning them at home.

Now, I have to add that I wish some American parents would show this kind of initiative towards their child’s education. I feel that parents should be involved in their child’s education and not think that the only role they play is the person who puts them on the bus. My issue comes when a parent puts so much pressure on a child that they have to leave the room crying because they made a bad grade on a test. By the way… that “bad” grade was a 97. We call that the “Korean Fail.”

It’d be nice if I could somehow bottle the compromise and sell it to every parent of school-aged children, but it isn’t going to happen.

Otherwise… am I diplomatic or what???

So I’m talking to a friend of mine about how people that haven’t lived outside the States (American territories and Canada don’t count) just don’t understand what it’s like to take everyday luxuries for granted.

Brandon: I mean, what’s the big deal about going to Target or Best Buy??? Nothing if you can do it any time you want. But when you can go to Barnes and Noble and not have to shop in the foreign section… that’s huge!

John: Right… the first time i walked into Wal-Mart i just wondered around for about an hour.

Brandon: Same with me at Kroger and Kohls. Actually, I was wondering around Kohls mostly because I was jet lagging and didn’t know what was going on.

This conversation took me back to a time long, long ago. It’s another My Reboot @ 30 first: The My Reboot @ 30 FLASHBACK!!!

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The year is 2010… the month… June. It’s early afternoon and I’ve just returned from Korea two days prior. My body is less than willing to be walking around considering it should have been sleeping at the moment.

My parents and I have decided to take a shopping trip to get some school shopping out of the way and to buy some nostalgia food for me to consume as I’m temporarily residing in the States. We made a stop at one of my favorite all-around stores: Kohls. I love the prices and the selection (and the free merchandise for pumping you on my blog… please, please!!!).

I had just found some great slip-on shoes, which are convenient considering every time you walk into a Korean home, you are supposed to take off your shoes. Unless, of course, you’re having a bad “anti-Korea day” and you wear your shoes throughout your apartment. That’ll show ‘em.

As my dad is off trying on some pants and my mom is searching for some house-wears elsewhere in the store, I’m left alone to search for some clothes. Suddenly, it hits me. From out of nowhere and when you least expect it, jet lag can strike you. And boy… did it pack a punch. One second I’m walking… the next I’m grasping for display counters and clothing racks. Unknowing viewers might have thought I was drunk or perhaps having a health crisis. Alas, no one comes to my aid.

Soon I get my land-legs back and it’s off to our next shopping adventure. We head to Kroger where I’m found wondering aimlessly with my mouth hanging open and drool oozing from it. This was the first time I’d seen this much food with English text written on the labels. I remembered all the good times my friends Frosted Mini-Wheats, IBC Root Beer and Cheddar Cheese SunChips had had during the years. It was like going to a reunion that you actually wanted to attend.

We loaded up the cart with the aforementioned goodies, as well as Butterfinger Ice Cream, Garden Vegetable Flavor-Blasted Goldfish (my new favorites by the way… if you happen to want to send me a care package) and lunch meat… REAL LUNCH MEAT!!!

Then it happened. It wasn’t quite narcolepsy, but next thing I know we are home. I seem to recall a hazy meeting with one of my mom’s friends, an incident in the cereal aisle, finding Strawberry Milkshake Whoppers on clearance (and buying them all) and her handing me the keys to drive her vehicle which I can apparently do while dazed.

It’s back to crispity, crunchity, air-dried laundry again.

I never really broadcasted one of the issues in my life last year: my roommate, DJ. Yes, I did mention him from time to time, but for the most part I kept him out of the blog spotlight. Some my readers know more than others, but without going into much detail… I had a bad living situation last year. This was also a significant reason for my lack of blogging at certain points in the year, due mostly to the fact that the thing weighing most heavily on me was our inability to see eye to eye… but I wasn’t going to air that laundry for everyone to see.

I don’t plan to rehash the past here and I also don’t plan on delving into the problems we faced last year. Perhaps one day, when I get a major book deal for my memoirs, I’ll add “The DJ Chronicles” addendum to my life story. But for now, all you need to understand is that our personalities were polar opposites, he compared himself to Batman at one point, I moved out for about a week in October, and toward the end I got tired of trying to be his friend and getting nothing in return. Needless to say, we did not end things on a high note.

Here in the present, I have a new roommate, Tain, and DJ is no longer working at the school… or Korea for that matter. But the shadows of the past still haunt me. Everywhere I go, it reminds me of another bit of hurt I experienced. I feel like he’s hiding close by, waiting to pop out and show me that his leaving is all a dream.

I come home… I’m reminded of the broken dishes and having to walk past him in the living room while he played XBox. I recall the times I barricaded myself in my room because I couldn’t handle the stress and pain that he caused me. I recall the time he threw a chair and punched a wall because he was so angry at me.

I go to the teacher’s lounge at school… my stomach tenses up because I lived in fear of him walking out of his office in the adjacent room while I was eating lunch or making copies.

I go to church… I remember the first few weeks of attending, sitting in the back together. Then there were the times I couldn’t look in your direction because I needed to “man up” and confront you about a problem I had with something you’d done, but was too afraid to say it.

I walk down the street… I remember the awkward silences as we’d walk to the store or wherever we were heading.

I see Korea… and in it I see DJ.

But in some ways, I miss him… not enough to live with him again, though. I still want the best for him and want him to know that. He and I had our problems, but I also know he was going through a difficult time and I hope he has worked some of his issues out. I haven’t spoken to him since we parted back in June, but there have been so many times I’ve wanted to do it. I’m just too afraid to break the ice.

I just want to find a way to move past it all and get a fresh start… but my brain can’t let go.

Look who's in 1st place!!!

In the end, Jim still won the match, but I came in second. As you can see by the following picture, I blame the 3 wood for my problems.

I HATE THIS CLUB!!!

As the evening drew on, Craig and I watched a movie and I was pushing to stay awake due to the continued battle with jet lag. As 9p came closer, the hunger pains started growing and I was in need of munchies. So Craig and I hopped the bus and thought outside the bun.

The tastes of Korea changed a bit over the summer. No, they didn’t stop eating kimchee, but rather an American institution of Mexican decent came to Itaewan. Koreans can now enjoy… TACO BELL!!!

From what I gathered, Taco Bell has been pretty slammed since it moved to the area. Lines have apparently been out the door sometimes. I guess it just proves that Koreans and ex-pats without Yongsan base access were really jonesing for nachos, tacos and Crunchwrap Supremes.

I ordered the Grilled Stuft Burrito and nachos combo (which is cheaper over here than it is in the States). Taking my first bite, I was swept back to the familiar tastes I’d been programmed to love years ago. There seemed to be a slight change in the taste, but for the most part, it was no different than a Taco Bell on any American corner.

Here’s the receipt to prove it:

Have fun translating

Overall, I found it a delicious taste of the States, but I also missed a few of my favorite meals that are not offered on the Korean menu: Chalupas, Meximelts, Volcano Tacos and Cinnamon Twists. Personally, I’d be happy just to add Chalupas to the menu. Please consider this Taco Bell people.

Oh… about 30 minutes after I finished eating, I also found another similarity to American Taco Bell as well.

Another teacher, Jarrod, kindly opened his home for the evening’s festivities and soon the fun began. Craig, Jim and I headed over a little after 7pm. A few games on the Wii provided entertainment for those looking to find humor in how little I play video games.

But soon, we switched to a game that was more my style… “Taboo.” It’s fun working around the system, using synonyms that are not listed on the card in order to get the other players to speak the taboo word. I also have a lot of fun guessing the words as well. It’s interesting to see how other people adapt their clues.

But what happened next showed just how much I’m compatible with my friends and more of a reason to love them.

Jarrod was giving the clues while Jim and I tried to guess the word. Jarrod looked at the card and said, “It’s a movie… Night at the ______________…”

What would your response have been?

Now this is why I love Jim so much. In almost perfect unison, we both shouted, “Roxbury!!!”

Jarrod looked at us like it was the most ridiculous answer he’d ever heard.

“WHAT?!?” he exclaimed.

Then it dawned on me that he was looking for “museum” in this case. But still… It was a totally valid answer. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack ever since I heard “What is Love?” on Sirius XM over the summer. And the fact that Jim and I both thought the same thing simultaneously could be considered either incredibly scary or insanely AWESOME!!! No… yessssssss… MAN!!!

You don’t want to know how I got Jim to figure out “sausage”.

Someone hit me with a sledge hammer next time I book with Delta!!!

It started off like a normal morning before a big trip. There’s that apprehension you forgot something (like the Kraft Chipotle Mayo) and the anticipation of getting the 14 hour flight over with. But what happened today changed my definition of normal.

For me, normal is apparently showing up to the airport at 10a to find that your initial 11a flight has been delayed (mechanical issues this year, not weather). Normal is also finding out that that delay will keep you from making your connection to Tokyo (is there a yearly echo in this room?). I’ve found normal includes being rebooked on the non-stop flight to Seoul out of Atlanta (I guess I’m destined to always go non-stop and never see Tokyo. Perhaps O-Ren and the Crazy 88s are waiting to kill me there…). However, I was also given the option to flight to Paris and then to Seoul, putting me in a day late. That might have been a little more fun.

But alas, no matter how you define normal… I’m the one that gets frelled!

I went to Chick-Fil-A (nothing makes problems go away like Chick-Fil-A!) and headed home for a few hours until my rescheduled 4p flight. When we checked the schedule at home, my flight was once again delayed to an indeterminate time. Long story short… arrived as they were making their final boarding call. Awesome… off to Atlanta.

The nice thing about Atlanta is that I get to chill with my best bud, Jack. As I now have a 5 1/2 hour layover until my 12:30a flight, we were able to meet up and grab a bite to eat.

Rewind…

Forgot to tell you about the call I made to Delta about fixing my problems. To begin with, the voucher I was going to use for the 3rd piece of luggage I packed did not cover baggage… only airfare. So I had to pay the $150 out of pocket (and the voucher expires on August 20th… thus lapsing before I can even use it). Secondly, when I booked my original flight to Tokyo, I was seated on the aisle, which is good because every other international flight has put me in the center seat… and I can’t sleep in a center seat! When they rebooked me on the Korean Air non-stop flight, I was booked… in a center seat. To top it all off, orientation for work starts at 8a. My original flight arrived the night before, giving me time to rest and refresh. Now my arrival is set for 4a and the bus to Uijongbu doesn’t arrive until 6a, putting me in town at 7a. Great… an hour to unload my bags and put on some deodorant.

***Update*** Just found that it’s only NEW teacher orientation today… but still!!!

I get on the phone and tell the Delta rep all these things, plus told him that this was the second year in a row this type of service has been afforded to me (Check July 30-31, 2009 entry for a memory refresher, if needed). He told me he couldn’t help me and transferred me to another department. I once again tell the whole story to another woman. She also can’t help me and puts me on hold whilst she talks to another department. Finally, she gets on and tells me there is nothing she can do but issue me a new voucher for my troubles… this time a $200 voucher. I have to wonder if I’d get $250 if I’m stupid enough to try this again next year. I told her, “Unfortunately that voucher is worthless to me because I’m never flying your airline again. Give me cash, upgrade my non-stop flight to Korea to first class or refund my extra baggage cost (I would have been happy if they did that), but don’t insult me with another voucher!!!” I was informed because it was not a Delta flight and rather their Skyteam partner’s, Korean Air, that upgrading would be impossible because Delta wouldn’t foot that bill and Korean Air wouldn’t accept Delta’s voucher. All they could do for me was give me a new voucher and that I was welcome to email corporate with my complaints.

Once the Korean Air counter opened, I went up to check my seat assignment and hopefully get it changed. I was informed that the flight was completely booked and they couldn’t get me out of the seat. Defeated, tired and angry, I got the direct number to Delta customer service. At 12a, I sat in a quiet section of the Atlanta terminal and let Delta have a piece of my mind and informed them that there is no chance of them ever getting my business again. All the guy could do was tell me he’s sorry for my troubles and have a good flight.

Over the loudspeaker, I hear the boarding call for my flight. As I step into line, my name is called and I walk over to the desk. Sensing my frustration and anger, the woman at the counter asked another gentleman if he’d be willing to switch seats with me. I thanked the two people and took my new boarding pass. This was more than Delta did to productively assist me.

So to Korean Airlines… I thank your counter reps for their assistance in a manner that was actually helpful.

To Delta… No wonder you’ve been named the worst airline in the United States. Two years in a row on the same flight plan you have given me the worst possible service with conflict resolution that’s of little consequence. My butt won’t be warming the seats of your airline ever again.

I have a $200 Delta voucher for sale. Anyone out there crazy enough to buy it?
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Fun Fact #762: Had it not been for the fact that his flight left at 12:30a on August 3rd, Brandon would have never set foot on the ground on that date as his flight arrived in Seoul on August 4th at 4a.