Well… who would have thought that my precog ability would have chosen such a spot on song for my departure day. “The Airport Song” turned out to describe my day to the letter. I arrived at the airport shortly after 8:30 in the morning and checked my luggage.

All my e-Ticket stuff told me I was flying Northwest Airlines, so during the packing process I called NWA to get all the dimensions and weight requirements for baggage. Unfortunately, NWA was bought out by Delta and they still have some of their wires crossed. The first problem I encountered was my luggage was over the standard extra baggage weight limit Delta had in place. It was fine by NWA, but 40 lbs too heavy for Delta. The baggage lady talked to her supervisor and they allowed the additional weight due to the error in information NWA gave me. They then told me it would cost me $550 to add those bags. The price quoted me by NWA was $300. This was just starting off as a bad day. We negotiated (William Shatner was not involved) and got the price down to $400, which was acceptable enough, but still not what I was looking for. At the original price they were going to charge me, I could have mailed my boxes over and it would have been cheaper.

Now I move to my gate. I see signs saying they flight has been delayed. Little did I know this was the harbinger of doom for my day. Atlanta was experiencing severe weather and pretty much all incoming and outgoing traffic was being suspended. My 11:20a flight was now rescheduled to leave at 12:03p. Not bad, i figured, considering the 9a flight was currently on their third embark/disembark of the day. The lines were getting to be insane and I get the feeling some people were probably about ready to rush the plane and fly it themselves.

Soon after, that 9a flight was in the air and a woman who was told she’d have enough time to grab a bite was left behind because they didn’t announce the flight was boarding earlier than expected, due to a sudden open window of weather, over the airport intercom. In total, she would find herself on and off planes 5 times before she final gave up and went home.

So it finally came time for our flight to board. We were told we’d have a short window of opportunity to get of the ground and on the way to Atlanta. Fifty of us quickly boarded the small commuter flight and we began our taxi to the runway. Suddenly, the engines stopped and the pilot comes over the loudspeaker.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry to inform you that the tower in Atlanta just called and they have told us we will not be able to go wheels up for another 50 minutes. So we’re going to just sit here on the tarmac for about 45 minutes. Oh, yes, and don’t forget… the lavatory on this flight is broken and we won’t have bathroom service. Thanks for flying Delta.” (okay… maybe I didn’t get it word for word, but it’s close enough)

I started laughing hysterically and the other passengers began complaining they couldn’t sit on the plane for as long as they’d have to without a restroom. Soon, the pilot decided to take us back to the gate rather than making us another story on “Inside Edition”. So he turned the flight back to the terminal for a 15-minute potty break.

By this time, myself and French passenger, were concerned our connections out of Atlanta were not going to be there when we arrived. We got off the plane to talk to a counter agent about the situation. She was told she would be fine. I was told there was no way to make my connection to Tokyo. I asked the agent if there was any other flights going anywhere that I could make the connection. I even told them if they comped me a rental car, I’d drive down to Charlotte to try to give me more options. She told me because all this was due to weather and the tower not giving clearance to take off, nothing would be comped. REALLY?!? Chalk one up for Brandon’s mood changing. She told me the only option I had was to take the Atlanta flight in the morning and get the non-stop out of Atlanta to Seoul. Better flight, since I wouldn’t have to change planes, but putting me in about 16 hours later than I should be getting there!!! Without really giving me time to think, she hands me the change ticket and sends me on my way so she can deal with the long line behind me.

Now I have to call and wait for my mom to pick me up (sounds like I’m in Jr High again). On top of it, I start to realize after I exit the security area, that I’m going to have to lug all 300 lbs of luggage back to the airport in the morning and possibly go through the whole process of getting the weight and price change to be the same. Now this thought just exhausts me. The night before, I’d decided to start adjusting to the time change by getting only an hour and a half of sleep so I could sleep on the earlier flights. That decision was now catching up to me. But who could blame me or know that these problems would cause this to feel like the longest day of my life. Even my 17-hour trip to TX, staying awake for 27 1/2 hours, was easier than this. I collapsed into the line for the Delta counter at the front of the terminal.

I decided that anywhere was better than here and all I wanted to do was go to Atlanta. If I had to sleep on the floor in the terminal, that would have been better than lugging all the bags back into the car and out again. It would be better than having to wait in the airport for 3 hours (with those bags) until my mom could get out of her conference. It would be better just to get back on that flight. Unfortunately, I couldn’t because the woman changed my ticket without giving me much chance to think about all the options.

I wait for an hour in the Delta ticket line for 3 people to serve about 20 people in front of me. During this time, my original flight leaves.

I finally get to the counter and tell the guy to put me on standby for the next flight to Atlanta. He tells me that the odds are slim to none I’m going to see the inside of that plane considering one of the three remaining flights to Atlanta just cancelled and the flight was overbooked by 2. I don’t care… just get me that standby pass. He tells me he has to go down to get my bags put back in the rotation and then I could try for the flight.

I head down to the gate to wait… praying that someone wouldn’t show up. I’m standing there for a few minutes while they board the plane a little early. “Yay, maybe someone is eating and won’t get here.” Unfortunately, they almost ALL get there. Then have 5 slots open. They call 5 names… none of them mine.

“But wait… that guy you just called got here after a number of us with a ticket dated for tomorrow… and he just got added to the standby list after the flight had mostly filled up. How did he get on?”

His ticket cost more than mine… and that’s the priority. I love waiting lists that show bias toward those who have more money to spend than I do.

If you don’t know I’m not a HUGE fan of the Amazing Race (it’s my destiny to run it), you must not have read my blog before. Honestly, by this time, I was waiting for the music to crescendo and my life to move in slow-mo followed by a commercial break. Then, once it came back, the music would get happy as they announced they found room for me on the plane and I wasn’t going to get eliminated. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Apparently, life is nothing like TV.

I’m done now. I throw my day-planner across the room and collapse in my seat (that would have been great for the slow-mo moment). Exhaustion has now taken it’s toll. I’m no longer functioning. I call my mom to pick me up and head down to the baggage services counter. I get it confirmed that the baggage weight and price changes would be as valid tomorrow as they were today. They sent me to baggage services to collect my things. I drug myself down the steps to the office, ready for the inevitable. They dispatched someone to pull my 240 lbs out of the baggage bay. The attendant then came back and told me it wasn’t there. Wasn’t there?!? What could have happened to it? Answer: it made the standby flight to Atlanta that I couldn’t get.

At this point you won’t believe the relief I felt. When she told me it was already connected to my non-stop flight to Korea, I was overjoyed that I didn’t have to worry about luggage anymore. I could just leave the airport, get something to eat (oh, by the way, I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast), and go to sleep. Sure, I’ll be upset if it doesn’t make it to Korea, but at least there was one bright, shiny moment in my day.

So… 10 hours after I arrived, I left the airport. Exhausted, hungry, cranky, and a number of other things I couldn’t identify, I got in my mom’s car and we went to Panera Bread (Chicken Noodle soup + Sierra Turkey sandwich = happiness and relaxation) where I was finally able to get on the internet FOR FREE (stupid airport Wi-Fi costs… they know you’re going to pay for it after 6 hours stranded)!!!

Time for bed… and the chance to try it all again tomorrow.

PS – If any of the people I met in the Greensboro airport read this… please comment below so I can see how the rest of your connections went.

Tags: airplane, airport, Amazing Race, Atlanta, bathroom, delay, Delta, exhaustion, frustration, Greensboro, luggage, standby, storm, terminal